End Of Season Awards

After the most mental end to a season in the history of mankind, I thought it was about time to hand out the awards to the high paid divas of the premier league. I'll give out honourable mentions to the best and the worst the season has had to offer.

Player Of The Year
Yaya Toure

This season Yaya Toure has been a colossal for Man City in their pursuit for the title. I've previously compared him to a combine harvester, in the way that when he gets going not much will slow him down.

Although City play him as a attacking midfielder, he can operate at both centre back and holding midfielder which proves not only is he adaptable but he is the spine of any team he plays in.

He has been the only constant for Man City in terms of form and has single handed dragged them through games (Liverpool at home, Newcastle away). Without him at times City looked at worst hapless and at best clueless, he chips in with goals at crucial times and works tirelessly for the team. Without him, City wouldn't be champions, it's as simple as that.

Honourable mention: Vincent Kompany, Wayne Rooney, Robin Van Persie

Worst Player Of The Year

Stewart Downing/Jordan Henderson

Picking between these two plonkers is like picking which piece of shit you would prefer to eat in a shit eating contest. They both moved from teams in the North East for huge transfers fees to join the Anfield revolution with 'King' Kenny, and they were both fucking terrible.

With a combined transfer fee of £43 million, yes you read that right, £43 million,,they contributed 4 goals and 1 assist all season.

Yes, they won the Carling Cup but lets not let that get in the way of a good bashing. They've been awful all season and only the hilarious antics of John Terry at Anfield the other night was the only time they looked like professional footballers all season.

I'm not saying they couldn't go on to better things, I'm just saying for the massively extortionate amount of money that was paid by a club the size of Liverpool, they just have not been good enough.
Honourable mention: Charlie Adam, Andy Carroll, Jose Enrique, Doni, Raphael

The Ian Wright Award (best signing)

Sergio Aguero

Sergio Aguero made his name at Athletico Madrid and moved for, shock horror, big money (£35 million) to Man City to team up with fellow Argentine dwarf, Carlos Tevez. He made an instant impact when he scored 2 on his debut against a severely outclassed Swansea (more on them later).

Although his form suffered a dip mid-season, like most of the Man City squad, he proved that he had guile, trickery,pace and a outstanding eye for goal that would surely fire them to glory.  Finishing as Man City's top scorer (30 goals) and also scoring the goal to win the title and pull it back from the grasp of Man Utd, shows why Roberto Mancini has been so impressed by him all season. With Tevez now back from his break with the PGA Tour, maybe Aguero can fire City to UCL success next year?

The Ali Dia Award (worst signing)
Alex McLeish

After successfully relegating Birmingham City the previous year, Alex McLeish thought it would be wise to move to their most hated rivals and see if he could do any better there.

Aston Villa moved for Alex McLeish in a cloud of resignations and compensation claims, and he quickly put his stamp on the squad and made them into the clodding, long ball merchants that the blue side of the midlands had grown to hate.

He had a team of mentals, shitters and kids and none of them really knew what to do. From Charles N'Zogbia deciding half way through the season after an £11 million pound move from Wigan that he didn't quite fancy it anymore to having a bench with the average age of 15 to actually having to use Emile Heskey as a viable striking option, the season was heading down a certain creek with a boat never mind a paddle.

Villa ended up on the final day of the season joint 3rd bottom, only escaping relegation on goal difference following another loss, this time to Norwich at Carrow Road. McLeish then had the stones to make the following statement:

"That team needs a change and there will be change. We need to bring more quality into the squad. "I'm expecting the board to back me. I understand the fans' frustrations about that display but I'm not a quitter."

And he proved he isn't a quitter, Villa sacked him not 1 day after the season had finished.

The Adel Taarabt Award (most overrated player)

Peter Crouch

Speak to anyone from ITV, Talksport or Stoke and you would think that Peter Crouch was the second coming of Pele. He suits Stokes style of play, which is so long ball it makes Big Sam at his worst look like Pep Guardiola.

For a man of 6'7, he actually finds it difficult to head the ball. That is ridiculous. Yes he scored a goal of the season contender against Man City, which stereotypically didn't touch the ground one from goal kick to Crouch's toe, and he's chipped in with a few goals but let's be serious. He scores a few against weak international opponents and not too many in the league but yet he's lauded as a goal machine.

If it hadn't have been for Uncle 'Arry then he'd never have gone to a 'top 4 club' and he'd still be knocking around in the lower leagues.
Honourable mention: John Terry, Paul Scholes, Luis Suarez, Theo Walcott

The Park Ji-Sung Award (most underrated player)

Yohan Cabaye & Cheik Tiote

I couldn't decide who to pick between these 2 hidden gems who were unearthed by Newcastle head scout Graham Carr.

With Newcastle's unexpected rise up the table, Demba Ba, Hatem Ben Arfa & Papiss Demba Cisse took the all the plaudits with silky attacking play.

This though is a dis-service to the engine room of the Toon with their very own Ying & Yang. With Chiek Tiote willing to run through walls to stop any sort of attacking play, just look at the 3-0 home win against Man Utd for his finest hour, Yohan Cabaye adds attacking flair and a real play making eye from which Newcastle start pretty much every attack.

Signed for a grand total of £8.5 million, they have now been quoted at a starting price of £20 million each. They would improve any team, and hopefully Newcastle can keep them together in their iminent raid on the top 4.

Honourable mention: Gylfi Sigurðsson

The Caster Semenya Award (surpise package of the season)

Team: Swansea City F.C

With a relatively small budget and the idea that relegation was seemingly pre-determined, Swamsea City stunned the entire league by not only finishing 11th but by playing some of the most stylish football seen all season.

The slick passing, Barca style play won Swansea many new fans and their young manager Brendon Rodgers a big reputation of not only surviving relegation again but even pushing on for a top 10 position and maybe even a European place.

A young squad that play fast, fluid attacking football but built with strong defensive foundations, Swansea will be a treat to watch all over again next season.

Player: Grant Holt

Yes, i know. Grant bloody Holt. A slow, fat, journeyman striker who fouls a lot and looks like a doorman.

Well if that's your opinion, your an idiot. Grant Holt has scored goals at every level of English football as well as trying to forge a career abroad when English football didn't want him.

He finished the season off with 17 goals to his name, with 15 of them in the league. Fine, yes he does foul a lot BUT he does the work that not many want to. Up top, on his own, holding up the ball and playing in team mates. He is the 2nd highest top scorer behind Wayne Rooney but yet is derided as an unfashionable choice, a player who is probably average at best.

Well with the Euro's coming up very soon, consider this the Holt For England campaign starting now.  With Rooney banned for the 1st two games, why not give Holt a chance? I personally love the man and can't wait to see him fire England to glory in Ukraine.

Manager Of Year
Alan Pardew

Alan Pardew joined Newcastle in a storm surrounding the sacking of Chris Houghton, which can i say again is, was and always be a massive injustice to a great man.

The fans weren't happy and Pardew was seen as nothing more than a 'Yes Man' to  Mike Ashley's ever increasing ego. It was with this appointment though that Newcastle have gone from strength to strength.

With the help of head scout Graham Carr, Pardew formed a team of young, hungry players that now are full internationals for their respective nations and are linked with major European clubs. Pardiola, as he should be known, has worked wonders with Newcastle and rightly he has swept all Manager of the Year awards, and it is with that he also claims the most prestigious of them all, the RVS BLog award.

The only question now is can he move Newcastle on from Premier League surprise package to genuine title contenders? If, he keeps his main stars and recruits wisely in the transfer market there is nothing stopping Newcastle & Pardew going from strength to strength.

The John Terry Award (biggest tosser)
John Terry & Luis Suarez

I don't need to rehash any of the reasons why that these two couple of tit's are sharing this award. They are both smart arse, jumped up arses who quite frankly would make the world a better place if they just fecked right off.

John Terry seems to think that been "man enough to admit" when he's done something condones all his wrong doings. Well it doesn't John, it makes your a proper tosser.

Luis Suarez on the other hand after been found guilty of racially abusing Patrice Evra apoligised "if YOU were offended". Which basically means I'm sorry your a dickhead.

Honourable mention: Joey Barton, Kenny Dalglish

The Robbie Earl Award (best pundit)

Gary Neville

I always thought that Gary Neville was a bit of a cock. His obession with his friendship with 'Becks' and his rat like face always annoyed me.

But after the Andy Gray/Richard Keys incident Sky did a shake-up of all pundits and it was through this that Gary Neville came into his own and really showed that his long career has led to someone with real insight into the game giving the viewer real knowledge.

He doesn't give Manchester biased views, which many thought he would. Look at when City won the league on the last day of the season, he graciously admitted that City were the better team over the course of the year and deserved the win. Saying that though, I think he still probably does hate scousers.

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Not So Kean, Headless Chickens, Blah Blah.....

I am writing this having just finished watching the marathon MNF coverage of Blackburn Rovers vs Wigan Athletic in which Blackburn finally succumbed to relegation and rather limply and without much fight.

It's been on the cards pretty much all season, they've been tipped to at least struggle in the league which they duly obliged to. Protest after protest, the Ewood Park faithful rallied to force Steve Kean and/or Venky's out of their club, and very much like Blackburn's survival bid it was unsuccessful.

Blackburn fans have come in for a massive of stick this season from all sides. You don't have to go far on the Internet to find groups of people blaming the fans for the clubs plight, this is quite frankly ridiculous.

Let's start at the beginning of this debacle and the sacking of Sam Allardyce. After taking over from Paul Ince midway through the 2008 - 2009, Allardyce took Blackburn from the relegation mire to a finishing position of 15th. The next season steady progress was made and remaining unbeaten against the league 'Big Four' and finishing a respectable 10th.

It was in the 2010/2011 season On the back of a 7-1 loss at Old Trafford to future champions Manchester United and a 2-1 loss to Bolton at home, the new owners Venky's decided that a fresh approach was needed. This despite the club was laying in 13th place in the Premier League and with a seemingly strong enough squad to resist relegation.

With Kean in charge, Rovers struggled to 15th in the table, only securing their league status on the last day of the season.

Rovers fans have had to put up with a lot. The transfer rumours surrounding the club, who's new multimillion pound owners had promised world class signings, became laughable, an ageing and declining Ronaldinho was offered over £21 million over 3 years to be their first major signing, he subsequently moved to Flamengo in Brazil.



Venky's chiefs Anuradha Desai, Balaji Rao and Venkatesh Rao

The clubs new chairman was co-owner Anuradha Desai who admitted shortly after buying the club that she knew "very little about football".

However, she has defended her position: "The impression is I've never watched a football match.

"I've not watched in a stadium but I have been watching the World Cup in India. I have watched hundreds of cricket matches but not live - it's all on TV. To say I don't have any knowledge would be wrong. I am a good listener.

"The fans have to trust us and give us some time and you will see for yourself that we are sincere people, very passionate about the football team and football club and our fans. We will not let you down."

These words will definitely stick in the throats of Blackburn fans as they did trust the clubs new owners but these much promised world class signings never came.

The only major signings made to strengthen the team were striker David Goodwillie and midfielder Radosav Petrovic arriving, from Dundee United and Partizan Belgrade, respectively. They were then followed by the £8 million signing of Birmingham defender Neil Dann, Bradley Orr a £1.8 defender from QPR and Marcus Olsson on a free transfer from Halmstads.

Former captain Ryan Nelson was allowed to leave on a free to Spurs and the club cashed in on want away captain Chris Samba when he moved to money driven Russian club Anzi for £12.5 million. Weak, inexperienced signings joined a structurally pathetic team and first team regulars such as Morten Gamst Pederson, Paul Robinson and Yakubu even looked drained and form and class dried up and deserted them. Only Junior Hoillet seemed to show any sort of level of skill with a football, which surely means he too will move in the summer.

All Blackburn's problems can be summed up in their recent away game at Tottenham, in which they had only 27% possession and not a single shot. The only stat they beat Tottenham for was that they committed 3 times more fouls than their opponents. They were dispatched 2-0 in a game in which would have been more appropriate for Spurs to wearing training kit.

It was through ALL of this that Rovers kept a tidy enough support both home and away, the fans unwavering in their love for Rovers. That is worth keeping in mind, a supporter loves a club, not a manager or chairman but the entity of the club itself. Much like the ultras of both European and South American football, they see themselves as the only permanent fixture at the club and will outlive players,managers and owners alike.



The now famous Ewood Chicken



I will admit, I personally felt that against Wigan the supporters could have done a better job of getting behind the team. The chants against Venky's and Kean started from minute 1 and only subsided when a chicken (kitted out in a Blackburn flag) was released on the pitch. As soon as it was removed, it started up again.



Bradley Orr admitted after the match that negativity from the stands had affected the team, and sided with his manager saying that despite the torrent of abuse rained down on him, Kean had "given it all" and been "outstanding" as a manager, although I'm not sure he could have done anything else. Although he spoke on behalf of the dressing room and apologised for the relegation, nothing covers up what has been a disastrous season.

Kean has to leave, whether by resignation or sacking. The man is out of his depth and tactically, he seems hapless and more Chuckle Vision than Premier League. Whether Venky's go is another question completely, they need to be brave and front up. They need to sort out the squad which will surely lose their 'big guns' and come clean with the supporters about how the club will be run.

Saying that though, all I can see is Venky's doing what they've done all year and leave a right fowl smell.

End Of An Era?

This week an exhausted looking Pep Guardiola revealed to a packed press conference of the most well-known secret in football, that he would step down at the end of the season as the head coach of Barcelona. He went on to explain his reasons and how been at arguably the worlds’ biggest club has taken its toll.

“Four years on the Barcelona bench is an eternity,” Guardiola explained. “I want you to understand this is not a simple decision for me. “At beginning of December I announced to the chairman that I was seeing the end of my era at Barcelona.

“I had to announce this today because I didn’t want to continue with the confusion. The reason is simple, four years is very tiring.

“I’m drained and I need to fill up. The demand has been very high and a manager must be strong. The new coach will give things I’m not able to anymore.”

This announcement came at the end of a week of disappointment rarely seen at Camp Nou. After seemingly surrendering the league to fierce rivals Jose Mourinho and Real Madrid with a 2-1 loss, they suffered even more heartbreak when despite controlling the 2nd leg against a 10 man Chelsea, they were held 2-2, despite leading 2-0 and having 72% possession. They went out 2-3 on aggregate and this apparently was the straw that broke the camels back.

Guardiola looked like a man who had the troubles of the world on his shoulders, and that the only way to lift them would be to take a step back and in his own words, “fill up”.  And it is during his sabbatical that Barcelona and their new coach Tito Vilanova are left to carry on a quite staggering legacy.

Peps’ Major Honours

• La Liga (3) – 2008/2009, 2009/2010, 2010/2011
• Copa Del Rey (1) – 2008/2009
• Supercopa de Espana (3) – 2009, 2010, 2011
• UEFA Champions League (2) – 2008/2009, 2010/2011
• UEFA Super Cup (2) – 2009, 2011
• FIFA World Club Cup (2) – 2009-2011

Pep Guardiola, as Barcelona head coach, won a major trophy every 18 games. Yep, you may have to read that again. A major trophy every 18 games. He created a squad of world-class players that played with one mentality, keep possession. Your opponents can’t score if they don’t have the ball but what if they do? Easy, Pep told his players they had 6 seconds to get the ball back and more often than not, because of high defensive pressure all over the pitch, they would.

Tiki-taka is the scientific word for Barcelona’s play, a game of short passing and movement with the view of moving the ball through various channels and maintaining possession. It was with this style of play that players emerged to change the face of not just Spanish football, but world football completely.

Mercurial passers, Xavi and Iniesta, defensive generals, Puyol and Pique and probably the most important surely has to be, Lionel Messi. Under Guardiola, Messi has been lauded from here to kingdom come and has become quite possibly is the greatest player of all time.
Messi has thanked Guardiola ”for how much he has done for my personal and professional career,” and it was with this that Messi did not attend the press conference revealing that he preferred “not to show” his emotion.

Only time will tell if Barcelona can continue the legacy without their leader but also how Guardiola will feel after 12 months off. I suppose we should all just sit back and relax.